Panic in a Pandemic

Posted on August 13, 2020

What a few months it has been. Not sure where to start and what to say or even how to say it. I am 6 months into the pandemic and i have just about reached my wits end. The end of January while in Europe on a work trip, i received a call from my son who has started to hear the whispers of this new virus that is killing people and was in a bit of a panic being so far away from me and not sure what was going to happen. As a parent it is your instinct to put your child’s mind at east and maybe sure that they feel that everything is ok and calm, but was it really? I was walking around exhibition halls with people covering their faces with masks and thinking to myself, am i exposing myself to something serious? or is this all just some plain old flu virus being exaggerated by the media?

I complete my work trip and return home only to notice that i was coming down with something, could be just plain fatigue from an intense 10 day trip spent in 5 different countries but my paranoia started to kick in and enter the constant temperature checking, sanitizing and isolation. Fast forward 4 months and i had a complete meltdown. I do have a history of depression and anxiety, but had been off of my medication for several years, but it seems like the demons that used to send my mind spiraling out off control were now back to haunt me again. I have found some comfort with friends that were willing to include me in their small social bubble and we spend some of our weekends at the beach, but the panic has not subsided. The constant fear of the unknown, the uncertainty would send anyone into a panic, but for someone with anxiety and depression this pandemic affects them tenfold. Take me for example, my relationships have become a bit strained, i have found myself searching for ways to avoid the loneliness that i am feeling, or the emptiness that lingers. My usual self that is in control of my emotions has completely lost control, finding myself back on my anti anxiety medication and aimlessly crying because the world feels really heavy right now, so heavy that i have become numb to emotion, so numb that i cannot give anymore, all i want to do is take.

Mental health is a real issue and one that is realistically affecting people that suffer this illness. Do not brush these issues aside, these people are reaching out and asking for help in their own special ways, you just have to try and see the signs.

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My new discovery….GUMTREE

Posted on June 15, 2019

I feel like i’ve been living under a rock! i’ve discovered this summer Gumtree and i’ve got to say, its my new favorite thing!

i had some tickets to a concert that i tried to sell on stub hub, but didn’t get them all sold fast enough, but omg did i get them sold quick on gumtree! Now, everyone at home is nervous, i have managed to put up two side lamps, and a jacket so far and i’m thinking of more things to put on. This experience of getting rid of some of what you may consider to be junk, and getting paid for it is somewhat liberating.

If you haven’t tried it, go give it a go and watch your addiction unfold!

https://www.gumtree.com

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Food Markets

Posted on August 31, 2017

I love food, i mean who doesn’t. I’m not too adventurous though and i definitely don’t consider myself to be an expert on different kinds of cuisine, but i know what i like and i might try something new but it doesn’t mean that i’m open to anything.

Now that’s i’ve gotten that off my chest, let’s get to why I’m posting about food markets. I love them plain and simple! But i love that we go back to the way things were done. Food markets were the way of doing business in the old days, they really helped develop the local economy, and vendors had a more personal relationship with their clients (which isn’t the case today, unless you spend boatloads of money, they won’t remember your name). It was more intimate, people met and caught up, while some did business. So, here’s a question, why is it the new thing to go to food markets? is it maybe because people are now craving that personal relationship with the vendors? Although i think we are a long way from going back to that point still, only because the world is such a large place and people move all the time, but i also its a way to boost a small business to show off their skills and show the local community that they actually exist!

So while traveling, i make it a point to visit a food market, not necessarily to buy local produce, but to those farmers i may buy a piece of fruit to munch on while checking out the stalls, and i know that i have just helped a farmer, who has worked so hard, get one step closer to his goal with my small contribution. There are the usual markets that i visit when in London, but this time I ran into a market in Duke of York Square and was in love! There were a couple of produce vendors, but the rest of it was just food, food and more food!

My point in this post is just to encourage you to go visit the local market and see what the locals have to offer. Michelin star restaurants are amazing and the reason most of them are is because they source their ingredients locally!

These guys were singing the blues while everyone was shopping

Fresh Produce was being sold

Amazing duck dumplings

And oh so much fudge

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Summer Birthdays

Posted on August 14, 2017

Summer birthdays, a curse and a blessing at the same time. Well for my little guy its mostly a curse right now because we are either out of the country or his friends are all out of town and he can’t really have the big birthday bash that most of his friends have. I keep reminding him that when he’s older it will be really cool because he can celebrate in a different country every year if he wanted to; but that logic is lost with him. For me though, its great! i don’t have to plan a big bash, but i do try to make it special and he’s still young enough to think that spending time with me is good enough, until it all changes.

In my defense i have thrown him a Halloween party to make up from not having a birthday party, but those got really expensive and really out of control, besides its still hot as summer when its October in good old K-Town. So we opted for an end of year pool party which parents seemed to enjoy more than the kids; now we are back to having a few friends over for his birthday and this year he was promised a sleepover. Anyways, back to this year’s event.

He got to skip summer camp, which he wasn’t excited about, and i told him we were just going out for lunch and some bowling. so where would i take him to celebrate his birthday? my best friend recommended….wait for it

there were balloons waiting for us when we got there and he thought that was it. which was perfect, low expectations means easily surprised! so he got his birthday song he wore the cool balloon hat and his favorite, a chocolate cake!

The two stars of the day!

After a few hours of eating, singing happy birthday and embarrassing him, we moved on to bowling. needless to say he lost, but i’d like to think of it more like teaching him the art of losing gracefully. Hope this gives you an idea of what you could do for a birthday party. It was fun, and relaxed at the same time. Please share any ideas you have for quick birthdays so others can borrow them!

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