Panic in a Pandemic

Posted on August 13, 2020

What a few months it has been. Not sure where to start and what to say or even how to say it. I am 6 months into the pandemic and i have just about reached my wits end. The end of January while in Europe on a work trip, i received a call from my son who has started to hear the whispers of this new virus that is killing people and was in a bit of a panic being so far away from me and not sure what was going to happen. As a parent it is your instinct to put your child’s mind at east and maybe sure that they feel that everything is ok and calm, but was it really? I was walking around exhibition halls with people covering their faces with masks and thinking to myself, am i exposing myself to something serious? or is this all just some plain old flu virus being exaggerated by the media?

I complete my work trip and return home only to notice that i was coming down with something, could be just plain fatigue from an intense 10 day trip spent in 5 different countries but my paranoia started to kick in and enter the constant temperature checking, sanitizing and isolation. Fast forward 4 months and i had a complete meltdown. I do have a history of depression and anxiety, but had been off of my medication for several years, but it seems like the demons that used to send my mind spiraling out off control were now back to haunt me again. I have found some comfort with friends that were willing to include me in their small social bubble and we spend some of our weekends at the beach, but the panic has not subsided. The constant fear of the unknown, the uncertainty would send anyone into a panic, but for someone with anxiety and depression this pandemic affects them tenfold. Take me for example, my relationships have become a bit strained, i have found myself searching for ways to avoid the loneliness that i am feeling, or the emptiness that lingers. My usual self that is in control of my emotions has completely lost control, finding myself back on my anti anxiety medication and aimlessly crying because the world feels really heavy right now, so heavy that i have become numb to emotion, so numb that i cannot give anymore, all i want to do is take.

Mental health is a real issue and one that is realistically affecting people that suffer this illness. Do not brush these issues aside, these people are reaching out and asking for help in their own special ways, you just have to try and see the signs.

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My new discovery….GUMTREE

Posted on June 15, 2019

I feel like i’ve been living under a rock! i’ve discovered this summer Gumtree and i’ve got to say, its my new favorite thing!

i had some tickets to a concert that i tried to sell on stub hub, but didn’t get them all sold fast enough, but omg did i get them sold quick on gumtree! Now, everyone at home is nervous, i have managed to put up two side lamps, and a jacket so far and i’m thinking of more things to put on. This experience of getting rid of some of what you may consider to be junk, and getting paid for it is somewhat liberating.

If you haven’t tried it, go give it a go and watch your addiction unfold!

https://www.gumtree.com

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Putting it out there

Posted on August 24, 2018

It has been a major challenge for me to post anything on the blog lately without being too personal. a lot has been going on and so much that i can write about but i’m not sure how much i want to put out there. maybe i should put a lot and maybe i should just keep some stuff to myself. so i’m going to continue to be random, vent and maybe even be a bit helpful! who knows. i promise i will try to get my act together and be as consistent as possible.

Keep your fingers crossed and keep reading!

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My Birthday Trip

Posted on January 6, 2018

 

 

 

I know its been a while since i’ve posted anything, and its mostly from my lack of motivation to write. i was a little unhappy at work, yes i love what i do, i just wasn’t too sure about the environment i was in. I wouldn’t say it was toxic, because the people are super nice, it just seems like sometimes i didn’t really feel like part of the team. oh well i guess it is what it is! so i kept myself sane and motivated by planning my birthday trip!

Yes i had just come back from a 3 month holiday in the summer, but it wasn’t my fault i was born in November, and i wasn’t ready to take that up with my mom either! so i decided that i would plan to go somewhere exciting every year since i moved back home and there is no time like the present! The process was a nightmare, to say the least…. at first i wanted to go to Australia because i say all my sister in law’s social media post from their trip there and i knew i had to go, but i somehow came to my senses and realized that traveling for 23 hours to stay 10 days in a place so big was just not realistic. Let’s not forget that before that i had said i would plan a trip to Tanzania, i’ve always wanted to go on a safari (for the day, camping i’m not ready for yet) and be with the animals, for a while before i return to the comforts of my hotel room. But as luck would have it, all the animals were on vacation too!

So then i thought ok, warm destinations weren’t meant to be, so let’s go adventure winter destinations, like Iceland, to my disappointment there is a huge storm that could literally  blow me off a mountain during that time of year, so scratch that! which meant i had good old reliable USA, started at California to Hawaii, to Colorado to Utah and finally i gave up on the plan and ended up in Switzerland. and knowing me i justified a little bit of enjoyment with a little sprinkle of work to remove some of the guilt i was carrying around with me. so off to Europe i went!

the flight took forever, it seems like i spent all day flying and driving and taking trains to get to my mountainous destination, but oh was it worth it! beautiful mountains with white crisp snow (which i didn’t see til the next day since i was so tired and cranky) but beautiful all the same.

i spent my days skiing and walking in the town and just enjoying the clear blue skies and cold crisp air thinking about how there is so much more out there in the world than me sitting behind a computer and complaining about how i didn’t feel like part of the team. 5 days in the mountains gave me a lot of perspective and gave me the energy to go back to France and pack up a house that i spent 16 summers in growing up with my dad laughing at me from the balcony for landing into cow poop, or tripping over a fence or getting scratched up in the corn fields next door. how simple life was back then, and how easy it was to enjoy your time being outdoor, i only wish that my son could experience the childhood i had.

 

I spent the next few days going through old letters and pictures, packing up old clothes and some of my artwork from my days in school. a bitter sweet end to a chapter but one we needed to end nonetheless.

A home i spent my childhood summers in has been packed up into numbered boxes to be shipped back to kuwait. and just like that, it was over.

Next stop, London!

i always have to make a point to stop in London, even if its for just a couple of days, i just can’t help it. i love that city and i love all the options available to me, plus its almost Christmas and that means the street lights are up!

 

 

what a great ending to a great trip…..can’t wait to go back for Christmas….until then!

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Making Bread…..

Posted on September 23, 2017

 

 

 

If you know me, you know i love myself some bread. i mean who doesn’t love to bite into a crispy piece of bread covered with butter and jam every morning? Well, anyways point is, i love bread and i do like to bake as well so making bread was a win win for me.

My initial plan before arriving in London was to join a culinary course, for the summer, to get some tips on how to prepare some really cool meals. I was planning to keep myself busy by hosting dinners and preparing the meals myself. Yeah so that plan didn’t really work out, but i did find a bread making class at a bakery that my friend took me too in a hidden street in London, so i was in!

I signed up for a Sourdough class thinking, if i could master making that bread then i was set for life, i would never need to buy bread ever again! and the tight-wad in me started jumping in joy (weird how i’m tight on certain things but very generous with others). anyways long story short, i spent the day being taught by an amazing instructor and made so many different types of sourdough and loved every minute of it. Leaving that class i was all breaded out with the tastings and making my own pizza for lunch. All in all it was an amazing experience, now the challenge is to repeat that here in Kuwait…..fingers crossed. But have a look at what i made for lunch in class below!

 

 

My Lunch!

 

 

 

 

 

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Food Markets

Posted on August 31, 2017

 

I love food, i mean who doesn’t. I’m not too adventurous though and i definitely don’t consider myself to be an expert on different kinds of cuisine, but i know what i like and i might try something new but it doesn’t mean that i’m open to anything.

Now that’s i’ve gotten that off my chest, let’s get to why I’m posting about food markets. I love them plain and simple! But i love that we go back to the way things were done. Food markets were the way of doing business in the old days, they really helped develop the local economy, and vendors had a more personal relationship with their clients (which isn’t the case today, unless you spend boatloads of money, they won’t remember your name). It was more intimate, people met and caught up, while some did business. So, here’s a question, why is it the new thing to go to food markets? is it maybe because people are now craving that personal relationship with the vendors? Although i think we are a long way from going back to that point still, only because the world is such a large place and people move all the time, but i also its a way to boost a small business to show off their skills and show the local community that they actually exist!

So while traveling, i make it a point to visit a food market, not necessarily to buy local produce, but to those farmers i may buy a piece of fruit to munch on while checking out the stalls, and i know that i have just helped a farmer, who has worked so hard, get one step closer to his goal with my small contribution. There are the usual markets that i visit when in London, but this time I ran into a market in Duke of York Square and was in love! There were a couple of produce vendors, but the rest of it was just food, food and more food!

My point in this post is just to encourage you to go visit the local market and see what the locals have to offer. Michelin star restaurants are amazing and the reason most of them are is because they source their ingredients locally!

 

 

These guys were singing the blues while everyone was shopping

 

 

 

 

Fresh Produce was being sold 

 

 

 

 

 

Amazing duck dumplings 

 

 

 

 

 

And oh so much fudge 

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Welcome to Camden

Posted on August 20, 2017

 

 

 

Welcome to Camden Town, seems like lyrics to a really cool song. Well this morning i woke up with this urge to go out exploring a bit. Camden has managed to establish a reputation that leaves you either loving it or avoiding it like the plague! The ride over really wasn’t that bad, it was a 30 minute bus ride (i love public transport btw); and as you leave your comfort zone you can see the changes happen from the preppy work types walking like robots to their high rise building offices to the more creative types walking the streets with their loud prints carrying their guitars just walking the streets. I quickly think to myself, what am i doing there, i don’t fit it, i’m not dressed like them, i don’t speak like them, i’m just plain jane in an ocean of vibrant color and character; but the beauty is that in the UK, you can be whoever you want to be and no one really cares!

Walking towards the market, typical nerdy me i’ve got my city mapper App on and its directing me to where i need to be, i wasn’t sure that i wanted to get lost there yet, but soon as I start walking I start to just feel more comfortable in the area, everyone was minding their own business and were too busy admiring the eccentricity of Camden to bother with the people on the street.

                                         

I mean this building had a dragon on it, and i’m not sure how they got it there but it was awesome! And then this store came up, and can you guess what they sell there? awe struck by what is going on, I finally get to the market and i just am instantly in love, who wouldn’t be? so many booths, selling all kinds of things from funky T Shirts, to local artists selling their work, there was even a local artist designing custom T Shirts on the spot! but i wasn’t there for that, i’m leaving that for another day, just an excuse to go back. I came for this guy named Benny, he and his friend make some mean paleo pancakes made with real ingredients; now if you know me you know that i love food, and i love sweets even more, so i skipped breakfast this morning to make sure i made it to Camden to try OSU Coconut pancakes, and oh were they delicious.

 

 

 

Meet Benny’s friend, he was totally in the zone doing his thing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

As he was making them he kept the ready ones warm so they were still hot when he stacked them! Has your mouth started to water yet?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Final result. So yeah, that’s what i had for breakfast….was it worth the trip? OMG YES! whether you’re Paleo or not (i’m not by the way) these guys have perfected the recipe! oh Camden, until we meet again…not long and i will be back xoxo

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Summer Birthdays

Posted on August 14, 2017

 

Summer birthdays, a curse and a blessing at the same time. Well for my little guy its mostly a curse right now because we are either out of the country or his friends are all out of town and he can’t really have the big birthday bash that most of his friends have. I keep reminding him that when he’s older it will be really cool because he can celebrate in a different country every year if he wanted to; but that logic is lost with him. For me though, its great! i don’t have to plan a big bash, but i do try to make it special and he’s still young enough to think that spending time with me is good enough, until it all changes.

In my defense i have thrown him a Halloween party to make up from not having a birthday party, but those got really expensive and really out of control, besides its still hot as summer when its October in good old K-Town. So we opted for an end of year pool party which parents seemed to enjoy more than the kids; now we are back to having a few friends over for his birthday and this year he was promised a sleepover. Anyways, back to this year’s event.

He got to skip summer camp, which he wasn’t excited about, and i told him we were just going out for lunch and some bowling. so where would i take him to celebrate his birthday? my best friend recommended….wait for it

there were balloons waiting for us when we got there and he thought that was it. which was perfect, low expectations means easily surprised! so he got his birthday song he wore the cool balloon hat and his favorite, a chocolate cake!

 

 

 

The two stars of the day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

After a few hours of eating, singing happy birthday and embarrassing him, we moved on to bowling. needless to say he lost, but i’d like to think of it more like teaching him the art of losing gracefully. Hope this gives you an idea of what you could do for a birthday party. It was fun, and relaxed at the same time. Please share any ideas you have for quick birthdays so others can borrow them!

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Who am I?

Posted on August 12, 2017

 

Hello World! that’s usually the first sample blog post you see when you start a blog so i thought it only fitting to use it as the first 2 words in my very first blog post. I thought i would use this space to introduce myself…No i’m not ready to give up my name yet but here’s a few things i’m ready to share.

I’ve got a little boy who keeps me on my toes! and i thought i would spend my days writing about my life. Some days i’ll just talk about my day, others i’m going to discuss some issues that i’m passionate about, but by no means will i be using this space to push a political agenda or discuss religion! so if that’s what you’re looking for, i suggest you find another blog to follow.

My life is pretty random. i love to travel (who doesn’t when you live in Kuwait) and have decided that i would visit one place i’ve never visited once a year (usually around my birthday since i would be traveling alone). I love to bake, and some say i’m pretty good. I’m somewhat gluten free (i fall off that wagon a lot) and would try anything once if it means i would lose some weight! So as our holidays are coming to an end i thought i would get myself out there and try to use this platform to maybe help someone get through a bad day or let them know that its ok some days to hate your life, i have these days too!

 

xx

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